sad sixteen

okay since I have nothing to do by the moment, just wanna blog about my bad day I had yesterday. well, it actually really sucks!! I wanna mention this word earlier on but some of you might feel is very rude but just accept it by the moment.

I actually planned to celebrate my birthday on 9th of Feb 1 week ago cause is school holiday for lokyukians. then I asked some of my classmate and close friend to out, around 10+ of them. and yeah, few days before 9th of Feb everyone seems like not going and I don't know why I have the feeling that everything will be a mess. and actually I almost wanted to cancel the outting.

at last, the outting still go on and beside that I also went for another round of paintball in the morning. after the paintball I went for my outting to celebrate my birthday. when I reach there, my friends actually tried to surprise me but to be honest I just tell themI didn't get shocked or feel surprise at all.

after that I went for movie with some of them and the group of friend who tried to surprise me didn't went. I was really sad that time yet I still act like normal in front of my other friend cause I don't want them to get dejected just because I am sad. besides I already bought the ticket for them but they don't want to watch it last minute. and I knew 1 of them cried when we left, but I don't understand why that friend cried...it should be me who's crying.

last night after tuition, back home and I was alone at my house's living room. I called Ketty and I told her everything. she told me today when I go to school, don't show my friend my moody face instead just be like the normal me. before this, I was chatting with 1 of my classmate on msn. I told him today at school I was just acting like normal but deep inside my heart I am very very sad and dissapointed.

I don't know how that group of friend will react if today I show them my stone face instead of the normal me. cause I knew they actually don't know how to face me today at school. my another classmate said that if she's me, surely she'll cry during the outting and show them her stone face.
sometime I just wonder am I doing the right thing or did I care for others feeling too much? or my friend actually don't feel comfortable with what I doing now?

besides, 1 of that group of friend asked my good friend why she is here at my birthday outting. when I knew it, I am really and even more sad. if I knew everything gonna be a mess like what I've sense, I'll cancel it and rather stay at home.

sweet sixteen? should be sad sixteen...

well, I got another sad thing happened on my birthday also but I lazy to share more here and is not soooooo important.



be strong frans!!! run baby run....